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Baskootball

General

Baskootball is the newest sport to develop an official league. Baskootball combines certain elements of basketball, with others of football. Baskootball is played on a grass field that is 75 yards long, and 40 yards wide. Two teams play against each other at a time, and there are 36 teams total in the NBL (National Baskootball League). Only 12 of the 36 make it into the payoffs (referred to as playoffs in other sports). Only the 12 teams that make it into the payoffs receive a salary from the league, which is $10.5 million per year. This tactic is said to increase competition.

There are 6 players on the field for each team at a time. On each side there are three baskets. One of them is a traditional 10-foot tall basketball hoop located at the center end of the court. There is also a 30-foot tall hoop in each of the four corners of the court (two per team). Underneath each 30 foot tall hoop lays a trampoline.

Creation

In 2016, baskootball was created by a group of janitors servicing Levi’s Stadium. They were working the night shift when one of them decided to put a basketball hoop in front of the field goal. Since none of them could dribble a football on the ground, they decide that baskootball has no dribbling. As the Janitors continued to play baskootball, they would add to the game each time. Baskootball was originally played with a professional size football, but the janitors switched to the slightly smaller college size football. Baskootball was just a game played for fun by a few janitors until one day, Jed York (owner of the 49ers) watched them play as he was leaving his office. The billionaire Jed York fell in love with the game and devoted his efforts to make baskootball an official sport. While Jed promised the janitors that he would reward them for creating such an exciting, lucrative sport, all he really did was promote them all to Co-Chief of Janitorial Services Officer and gave them a $0.50/per hour raise, Jed poured his own money into the NBL and turned it into the most watched sport in America.  

Rules

Each team has 6 players on field at one time, with 6 substitutions on the bench. The substitutes can come in and out of the game at any moment, no stoppage needed. However another player has to come off the field before another can come one. Failure to wait for the your teammate to come off the field before going in will result in a penalty of 50 push ups, and the player has to finish the game in his or her underwear only. The six different positions consist of, Handler, Runner, Shooter, Little Blocker, Big Blocker and the Rhino. The positions the players receive are based on their size and ability. The players have four chances to score the ball into any of the three opposing hoops before being brought to the ground. The play is over when one elbow, knee, or hip touches the ground. The defense is trying to prevent the offense from scoring a basket on each of the four chances. The defense is allowed to tackle or bring the opponent down by any means necessary. Each basket made through the 10-foot tall hoop is worth 2 points. Each basket made through the 300-foot tall hoop is worth 10 points. If a team scores the other team picks up the ball immediately and starts their first play. The players of the visiting team are required to perform the halftime show.

Regulations

There are a surprisingly few amount of regulations in this baskootball. The trade deadline for the league is April 25th, every year. Teams must keep 12 players on their team at all times. Failure to do so will result in payoff ineligibility. Once a player has left a team (due to being traded or cut) he or she is not allowed to return to that team. If a player leaves their team to join a rival’s team, his salary incurs a mandatory decrease of 25%. A College-size football must be used for all games. The use of performance enhancing drugs is strongly encouraged. This is a co-ed sport