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GolsWarritis (goal-swhor-ri-tis)

GolsWarritis is a rare condition which occurs in fans of the NBA basketball team, the Golden State Warriors.  This ailment is widespread affecting 4,461,615 people.  Recently after the Warriors won the NBA Championship of 2015, 1,800,642 new cases appeared.  This ailment occurs when fans watch the Golden State Warriors team play. They become so enthusiastic they go into an ethereal state of fandom and an overall golden state of mind. 

Symptoms of GolsWarritis include change in wardrobe, excitement, excessive spending, and seeing blue and gold.  People suffering from GolsWarritis change their wardrobe from normal everyday clothing outfits to jerseys, t-shirts, and other accessories displaying the Golden State Warriors basketball theme.  One affected Golden State Warriors basketball fan stated “the only clothes in my closet right now are my jerseys and sweatshirts showcasing my love for my team”.  When the Warriors score a basket or win a game, excitement fills the arena.  Steve Kerr, head coach of the Golden State Warriors, commented “We have seen many outbreaks of GolsWarritis occur in Oracle Arena”.  In serious cases, fans watch games live so they achieve the full fan experience.  Plus they buy jerseys, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and other accessories to enhance the experience and change their wardrobe.  These expenses cost money which require excessive spending.  When attending games, fans see a sea of blue and gold as other people affected by the ailment experience similar symptoms and wear Warriors colors.  Although over 1 million cases surfaced recently, this rare condition is not unknown.

The first case of GolsWarritis was in 1974, when the team made it to the NBA Finals and won the Championship of that year.  One of the spectators at Oracle Arena commented “I was there when the Golden State Warriors of 1974 won the championship.  Even though I contracted this ailment that day, I don’t regret it”.  GolsWarritis, although prevalent in the Bay Area, is spreading all over the world with 200,000 cases in European countries including Sweden, Ireland, and Italy.  

The fans are not the only ones affected by this rare condition.  After the Golden State Warriors won the Championship against the Cavaliers in June of 2015, 500 cases surfaced in Cleveland, Ohio.  Also, star player Stephen Curry announced that he too suffers from a case of GolsWarritis.  His symptoms include shushing other teams at away games and dancing with excitement when his teammates do well on the court.  Plus he admitted to a change in wardrobe of all Golden State Warriors outfits. 

Unfortunately, during this time there is no cure for GolsWarritis.  “We tried everything from switching the channel to baseball, to making less parking spots at the home games” said Dr. Pepper, current senior pathologist at Stanford University.  Those affected must live with the condition.  However, stores including Sports Authority and Sports Fever try to alleviate some of the symptoms by selling less expensive Golden State Warriors clothing and items.  Another company which tries to treat some of the symptoms of GolsWarritis is Stubhub and Ticketmaster which both sell tickets to Golden State Warrior games at lower prices.