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Half-Squatters

 

A Half-Squatter is one who performs a squat but whose hip crease does not go below or even meet parallel to the top of their knees. You can usually find them at commercial gyms loading up the barbell with far too much weight and then proceeding to destroy their knees on the one-inch descent. In some circumstances, a half-squatter may even ask for assistance. However, it's been found that the spotter usually has both hands on the bar and essentially lifts the weight up for them. This, in turn, further validates the Half-Squatters belief of their superhuman-like strength. It's also not uncommon for Half-Squatters to make a lot of noise while performing squats. This ear piercing sound can only be described as a loud constipated like grunt followed by a high pitched screech from the bar crushing them into the ground.

Further research has also shown evidence of Half-Squatter like traits on a piece of gym equipment called a leg press. For this exercise, they gather all of the weights available at the gym and load up the leg press to its absolute max capacity. Afterward, you can see the half-squatter pacing in circles around the machine getting as much attention as possible for their big lift. They sit in the machine like an astronaut ready to take off and continue to ruin both their joints and sometimes even their face from due to their knees collapsing into their body.

Created by: Rodolfo Sanchez