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Johnny Mishmash

From Fictspedia, the fictitious encyclopedia

Jonathan Mush Mishmash (Born January 6, 1989) is an American avid republican, Dust gatherer, country bumpkin, and demolition derby driver.



Biography

He was born and raised in Prunetucky, Ca, a small town an hour north of Salinas, Ca. Prunetucky is predominantly known for its world renowned prune farms, hog tying contests, and 4x4 truck conventions. These local past times shaped Mishmash’s childhood dreams of becoming “The best dad gum prune suckin’, hog tyin’, donut spinnin’ sommabitch that ever rustled this fine earth!” . He would later go on to sporadically fulfill these adolescent goals of backwoods fortune and fame, in between bouts of alcoholism and wife beating.

2003-2010

Mishmash first started high school in the fall of 2003 at Dirtwilla High School, located in his hometown of Prunetucky California. It was there where he would gain a group of close friends that turned him on to many different types of moon shined liquor, and Billy ray Cyrus cassette tapes. This was also around the time when he met his lifelong girlfriend, Darlene Starla Porter (Born December 13, 1988), the heiress and daughter of local prune juice tycoon, Mr. Dale M. Porter.

2010-present,

After finally receiving his GED from Dirtwilla School District, Mishmash started his first season in the driver’s seat for Porter’s Prunes number 13 car in the Nor Cal Unified Demolition Derby circuit. Unfortunately he failed to place, and was out most of the season, due to an intoxicated water skiing accident during spring break vacation. He plans to re-enter this season and “ Win em all”, yet no official statements have been released from Porter’s Prunes as of late regarding his current driver status.

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