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Slothasaur (Glorified Beast)

Slothasaur is a large mammal indigenous to the lower parts of the state of Texas in the United States as well as regions in Lower Egypt. Fossils date this species to the mid 1700’s. Slothasaur is known for its un-kept body hair, poor hygiene and constant appetite. The animal has grown immensely popular with the natives in the surrounding areas. Populations fight for the attention of the animal and have even been known to supply it with its favorite food (molded candy corn and Mountain Dew: Code Red). The Slothasaur is often portrayed as a mythical or religious icon due in part that it’s urine has been rumored to remove warts and other facial abnormalities. The animal itself is 4-5 feet tall and weighs anywhere from 330-600 pounds. The appetite of the Slothasaur is extremely broad and adaptable to the environment. It’s diet consists of mostly fast-food items brought to it by it’s faithful followers however, it has been documented that the Slothasaur always grows it’s own vegetables, mainly cauliflower but this is rare. It only has one natural predator, Toucans. Toucan’s elongated beaks are one of the only things that are able to reach the weak spot of the Slothasaur, a decayed tooth in the back of its mouth. It continues to grow in popularity due to countless celebrities adopting and supporting these animals. An animated television series is in the early stages of production depicting the life’s of these fascinating specimens.


Author: Lenny LaRussa

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