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Sock Glutton
The first contact with this miniature beast is believed to have occurred in the early 20th Century, coinciding with the widespread release of household washing machines. The Thor was the first electric-powered washing machine, introduced in 1908 by the Hurley Machine Company of Chicago, Illinois; it was invented by Alva J. Fisher. The Thor was a drum type washing machine with a galvanized tub and an electric motor—a patent was issued on August 9th, 1910. Shortly afterwards, many suggest that cases of missing socks increased one thousand fold in mere weeks. Although originally thought to be a consequence of new technology, it is now conjectured that nearly all missing socks are a result of the interaction with Sock Gluttons. Sightings are exceptionally rare; however there is much speculation about the appearance and habits of this creature. First and foremost, it is hypothesized that Sock Gluttons rely on the digestion of socks for energy and that not all socks are created equal. Study suggests that it is most often the left sock that is eaten and that colored socks are apparently considered a delicacy within Sock Glutton culture. As a discernable photograph has never been successfully procured, many theorize that these beings employ some sort of camouflage when in the vicinity of humans. It is also assumed that razor-sharp teeth allow Sock Gluttons to devour a single sock in mere seconds. As a byproduct of the consumption of socks, the supposed excrement of Sock Gluttons can be found regularly throughout many households and laundromats in the form of lint. Although these organisms have a notoriously ferocious disposition towards socks, they are thought to be mostly docile and are allegedly completely harmless to humans. As such, no recorded case of injury or damage has ever been reported. -Tyler Houts

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