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Garrett Guanella

Profesor Sunseri

Comm 100W

10 February 2015

The Disfigured Koors Cans

Koors Light is a popular and well known beer that many enjoy around the world.  It has been voted the most popular beer in the United States eight years in a row.  This outstanding tradition that Koors Light has established has been satisfying people for over 85 years and its distinct silver can, also know as the silver bullet, is one of the cornerstones to this company.  In 1965, the Koors Light headquarters had a major production error that resulted in the distribution of 92 unfamiliar and disfigured cans. Shortly after the discovery of this monumental mistake, Koors Light released a worldwide statement asking for the return of these 92 cans.  A $5000 reward would be given to the each person who came forward with a disfigured, unopened can.  A few years later in 1967, it was reported that a man was seen vanishing out of thin air then reappearing in the middle of downtown Vancouver.  Sense this incident there has been 15 reported cases of people mysteriously vanishing.  In each of these cases, a deformed can of Koors Light has been found at the scene of the disappearance.  After conducting extensive studies and research on this matter, a theory was developed by the Koors Light headquarters.  This theory stated that each defected can that was distributed had a strong correlation with teleportation powers.  Even though this cannot be fully proven, there have been at least 20 eye witness reports of people using teleportation around the world.  There has been speculation in the 21st century that certain individuals who live among us have been able to perfect teleportation.  Mastering a skill such as this one would give them the knowledge to be able to teach this extraordinary power to others.  Sense this catastrophe, only 27 bottles have been returned to Koors Light.