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Peter Piper (July 30th 1840 – September 13th 1988) was an American, entrepreneur, inventor, writer, musician, philosopher, entertainer and magician. Peter set a number of world records from eating the most hotdogs in 60 seconds, totaling 1501 hot dogs, to a string of other records that have yet to be broken including the worlds longest living human being. Peter died at the age 148 years old in a bar fight with hulk Hogan who is still at large and is being extradited from the alien planet Mars Volta. Piper was most well known for his leading role in inventing reality, indoor plumbing, and individual thought. Although the majority of Piper’s life was spent in nature away from the eye of the public, when he did make public appearances he always performed magic tricks and wore loud colors that contributed to his infamous status to the public who otherwise only saw in black and white. Peter piper’s life long ambition was to influence people to think for themselves but was foiled by his arch nemesis and stepbrother Carl Marx. Though both brothers grew up under the guidance and influence of father Zeus, peter’s mother, Mother Teresa, helped Peter understand the nature and how the earth works, while Carl’s mother, Angela Merkel, provoked the conflict between the two brothers by promoting human enslavement. As a result of the brother’s conflict, all but this writing and a singular child’s nursery rhyme have been forgotten about the influential figure.  Peter’s existence in history is currently being erased by the Mandela effect and is only being passed down by secret societies through telepathic communication.