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Xychzv

Xychzv is the rarest flammable substance on Earth. It was first discovered in 1999 by the Scandanavian botonist, Jacob Jay Jacobson during the infamous Lake Baikal brush fire that spread over 15 countries. It is a substance so rare that only 0.000000005 of a gram have been documented since its initial discovery and has been speculated to be nonexistent from the Speculative Cynics of Science (SCS) in an article of the biweekly newspaper SCS Biweekly. Derived from the Latin Zysionio meaning, "To fly without wings," Xychzv is the only word in the English language that contains no vowels and is considered the only word that can rhymn with the words, "Silver," and, "Orange," simultaneously. It was recently ranked 4th in the National Chemist Society's 2010 Census of Most Useless Chemicals and has created an underground controversy for its use as an aphrodesiac in various parts of the American west coast despite the fact that less than a gram has ever been documented. Xychzv has also recently been tested on its effects when in contact with certain lung and brain cancer cells. Despite its limited quantities on Earth, a recent study in 2009 by NASA engineers has confirmed that a substantial amount of it does exist on the planet Saturn and may also be found on Neptune. In recent hype of the chemical in the past year, Jacob Jay Jacobson has appeared on several shows such as the Colbert Report, Dateline NBC, and even the Simpsons despite the fact that Jacobson has not made relevant progress on discovering any new properties of the element.

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